Exercises

Nurture Your Nature

by Annette Foglion

In 1979, Tim Seward sat in my audience wide-eyed and eager to grow. His newly bought Tidy Car franchise provided him the chance to build his own business doing auto detailing. At 19 years old, this was quite a challenge. He had no college degree or business experience, just enthusiasm and the willingness to work hard.

I spoke to the group on "How to Build Your New Business," and after my speech Tim sat with me during lunch. I tried to answer his scores of questions and still eat lunch. At the end of lunch he asked me for a "daily motivator," a challenging quote to motivate himself with.

Here's what I told him: "Every day ask yourself, ‘How would the person I'd like to be do the things I'm about to do?'" He went home and did that.

His goal was to become the international sales leader of Tidy Car. He wanted to be the best they had. So he asked himself, "How would the international sales leader do what I'm about to do?"

He began to dress differently for work—in a jumpsuit with "Tidy Car" on the back, rather than a T-shirt and jeans. He also did his work more thoroughly. Each car was polished to perfection. He served his customers like the leader would. They came back for more and referred their friends to Tim.

Tim's business grew rapidly, so he leased an old service station and hired others to help. He upgraded all that he did. Tim also listened to motivational and business tapes as he worked, went to seminars, and traded auto services for advice and coaching. His business continued to grow.

At the end of that year, Tim had done so well that he won the international sales leader award among hundreds of other franchises at Tidy Car's convention in New Orleans. He drove home in his prize, a brand-new, shine white Corvette!

Tim went on to lead Tidy Car again and again. Then he formed his own company selling auto accessories. He became a good husband and father. He learned how to build and sustain a successful business. Today, two decades later, he lives in a beautiful new home in Florida. He has built, owned, and sold four business locations in Michigan that provide jobs for many people and produce over $6 million a year. He lives an abundant life and has a beautiful family.

    The Seeds of Success

Time did not ride a wave of auto-motive opportunity. Nor did he luck into a business relationship with a rich benefactor. No wise guru took him under his or her wing. He didn't gamble big and win.

Tim simply practiced what the author Tony Alessandra calls "the Platinum Rule". That is, he treated people the way they wanted to be treated. He served them graciously, gave their cars the extra touch, made it easy for them to work with him, valued his co-workers, and constantly increased his own ability to bring value to others.

Tim was rewarded for his work on all levels: good health, great friendships, happy family, successful business, and an abundant life. His success was not the result of college degrees, negotiating skills, financial mastery, or good timing. He was rewarded as nature always rewards us, by the natural, predictable results of becoming the kind of person he was capable of becoming in all eight areas of his life: mind, body, spirit, emotions, family, friends, career, and finances. He was living and working in alignment with his values, his intelligence, and his potential and, like an acorn that becomes a mighty oak, his growth seemed almost automatic.

Success is not a contest, nor is it a mountain you must struggle to climb. Success is your birthright. It is your natural state of being.

Sure, you'll have to work at it. You may even have to develop some new habits. But personal growth ( the natural process that creates a successful life) is not drudgery. It is fun! Ask anyone who is living a highly productive and happy life. "What is it like to develop new abilities and bring out your best?" He or she will pause, then smile and tell you, "It is great! I can't imagine living any other way!" 

I know this to be true. Over my past 20 years of work in human development I have found that the people at the top of every field have a different way of looking at life from those who are still struggling to keep up. It is not a difference in talent. It is a difference in outlook. 

How do I know? Because I've seen it happen to Tim Seward and in the lives of thousands of others. I've experienced it in my own life again and again.

You can learn to "nurture your nature" by keeping a journal of your desires that describes the person you'd like to become. This picture of the future you will evolve over the years and yet also stay the same in many ways. The clearer your description of the person you'd like to be, the more likely it is that you'll live the life you'd like to see. This can be one of the most profound exercises you will ever undertake.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Desire is possibility seeking expression. "The essence of your nature is expressed in your true desires. Once you have described the person you'd like to be, you can begin to shift your focus to the areas you should emphasize today in order to make your dreams a reality tomorrow.

In order to grow, you need, like a tree, to be either expanding your roots (gaining more awareness and resources) or bearing fruit (behaving productively). When you spend too much time in one area, your needs will increase in the other areas. You need a daily plan for both expanding your roots and bearing fruit.

    The Thought Diet: Your Growth Starter

The desire to expand my roots and to bear fruit in my life developed into a tool that I've used off and on for more than 20 years. I call it the thought diet. It's designed to influence your thinking through your behavior and to groom your behavior through your thinking, just as an eating regimen would affect your physique.

I believe each of us should take on the job of raising ourselves. And when you're raising someone, there are two jobs, both with the same goal: Both the parent and child want the child to become an independent, self-directed adult.

I told my son years ago, "I want the same thing you want. I want you to be able to do whatever you want to do without ever checking with me on whether you can do it or not."

He said, "Hey, I like that."

"Here's how you get there," I told him. "You form the kind of habits—study habits, interpersonal habits, habits in school, habits in daily hygiene, habits in decision making—that will assure me that you're going to make good choices and keep yourself safe as you progress in life. As I see those habits develop in you, I'll give you more and more freedom in every area. So you form the habits, and I'll guide the growth."

To implement that thinking, you can create a "thought diet card" to guide your growth as you develop and cultivate the habits of success. The thought diet is a tool for helping you become more of the person you need to be in order to achieve your goals. If you cultivate the thoughts and habits of the person you want to be, you"ll automatically start getting the things you want to get.

Read your thought diet card once every morning and once every night.

The thought diet card has three important parts. Part one is your current primary goal—a brief description of the goal that matters most in your life right now. Part two lists the traits you are developing—five qualities you most want to cultivate within yourself to become the person you want to be, the person who would achieve your stated goals. Part three describes your minimum daily actions—behaviors that will break your inertia each day and get you started growing again. This is not a mere list of goals to achieve or studies to complete; it is a list of traits and behaviors that bring out the desired qualities in you.

The goal and the list of five traits go on one side of your card, and minimum daily actions go on the other side. On the side of the card for actions, list eight categories: mind, body, spirit, emotions, friends, family, career, and finances. And then beside each one write a minimum action that will help you to grow in that area. Be realistic: Don't challenge yourself too much or too little. And make sure that the actions, traits, and goal are compatible.

Side one of my thought diet card showed the current primary goal in 1975. Side two listed the minimum daily actions I wanted to take in order to develop the traits and meet my goal.

    THOUGHT DIET

    My current primary goals:

    To become a national expert in the field of personal development.

    Five traits I am developing:

1. To be more observant: to notice more, and to learn from every source available.

    2. To be healthy, fit, and agile: constantly to develop physically.

3. To be generous: to compliment others often, to help them find the good in themselves.

    4. To be optimistic: always to look for solutions and possibilities.

5. To be inspiring: to hold myself to a higher set of professional and personal standards.

    THOUGHT DIET

    Minimum Daily Actions:

    Mind: Read one page of a book.

    Body: Put on jogging shoes and walk out to the street.

    Spirit: Thank God for blessings received.

    Emotions: Laugh once.

    Friends: Phone or write to one person I care about.

    Family: Spend 10 minutes carefully listening to a family member.

    Career: Learn one new idea that will enhance my career.

    Finances: Keep an accurate record of money received and spent.

Above: A goal for growth. Side one of author Jim Cathcart's original "thought diet card" declares his goal for the future and lists five key traits he wants to cultivate.

Below: An action plan for the day. On side two of his "thought diet card" the author commits to taking minimum daily actions in eight categories in order to build the traits.

I knew that if I developed that five traits I had selected I would start becoming the person who would achieve the goal I had written down. Then the goal would be the natural byproduct of my daily actions. It's the reverse of what a lot of people do when they focus on the goal. But I say you can go about it from either direction. If you figure out what kind of person you want to be, then think about the goals that person would achieve, and then become the person—the goals will be the automatic byproduct.

Now, those minimum actions don't constitute a complete plan for reaching a lofty goal, but they did provide the simple push I needed each day to get started, and it worked for me. I changed the card often, and if I found I wasn't doing something on the card, I would write in a new action, constantly monitoring what I avoided. I did this repeatedly until I figured out how best to motivate myself and determine what I could get myself to do. If the goal wasn't exciting, then I'd reexamine my goal on the card for a while. If it seemed that I'd acquired one of the five traits, then I'd add some new ones that I felt I needed to work on.

It is in your nature to be successful at certain things. To identify your natural path, keep a record of your likes and dislikes, successes and failures. Study the patterns in your life and align yourself with your potential strengths. Use the thought diet to study the course. Learn to "nurture your nature."

The seed of your future successes already lives within and around you. The seed's only job is to grow, to live fully. The oak sleeps within you. Growing season is here.

(2 060 words)

(From The Futurist, December 1999 )

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