Text 1

Nonverbal Communication

    The impact of a speech is affected by the way it is delivered. Nonverbal communication is a vital factor in delivery and you can choose to use the right movements of your face and body for the right situation.

    Imagine you are at a party. During the evening you form impressions about the people around you. Alan seems relaxed and even-tempered. Margaret tense and irritable. Karen seems open and straight forward, Amy hostile and evasive. Eric seems happy to see you; Mark definitely is not.

    How do you reach these conclusions? To a surprising extent, you reach them not on the basis of what people say with words, but because of what they say nonverbally─with their postures, gestures, and facial expressions. Suppose you are sitting next to Mark, and he says, "This is a great party. I'm really glad to be here with you." However, his body is turned slightly away from you, and he keeps looking at someone across the room. Despite what he says, you know he is not glad to be there with you.

    Much the same thing happens in speechmaking. Here is the story of one student's first two classroom speeches and the effect created by his nonverbal actions on each occasion:

    Dan O'Connor's first speech did not go very well. Even though he had chosen an interesting topic, researched the speech with care, and practiced it faithfully, he did not take into account the importance of nonverbal communication. When the time came for him to speak, a stricken look crossed his face. He got up from his chair like a condemned man and plodded to the lectern as though going to the guillotine. His vocal delivery was good enough, but all the while his hands were living a life of their own. They fidgeted with his notes, played with the buttons of his shirt, and drummed on the lectern. Throughout the speech Dan kept his head down, and he looked at his watch repeatedly. Regardless of what his words were saying, his body was saying, "I don't want to be here!"

    Finally it was over. Dan rushed to his seat and collapsed into it, looking enormously relieved. Needless to say, his speech was not a great success.

    Fortunately, when Dan's problem with nonverbal communication was pointed out to him, he worked hard to correct it. His next speech was quite a different story. This time he got up from his chair and strode to the lectern confidently. He kept his hands under control and concentrated on making eye contact with his listeners. This was truly an achievement, because Dan was just as nervous as the first time. However, he found that the more he made himself look confident, the more confident he became. After the speech his classmates were enthusiastic. "Great speech," they said. "You really seemed to care about the subject, and you brought this caring to the audience."

    In fact, the wording of Dan's second speech wasn't much better than that of the first. It was his nonverbal signals that made all the difference. From the time he left his seat until he returned, his actions said, "I'm confident and in control of the situation. I have something worthwhile to say, and I want you to think so too."

    Posture, facial expression, gesture, eye contact─all affect the way listeners respond to a speaker. How we use these and other body motions to communicate is the subject of a fascinating area of study called kinesics. One of its founders, Ray Birdwhistell, estimates that more than 700 000 possible physical signals can be sent through bodily movement. Clinical studies have demonstrated that in some situations these signals account for much of the meaning communicated by speakers. Modern research has also confirmed what the Greek historian Herodotus observed more than 2 400 years ago: "Men trust their ears less than their eyes." When a speaker's body language is inconsistent with his or her words, listeners tend to believe the body language rather than the words.

    Here are the major aspects of nonverbal communication that will affect the outcome of your speeches.

    Personal Appearance

    If you were Cher, you could show up to make an Academy Award presentation speech wearing a bizarre creation that had more headdress than dress. If you were Albert Einstein, you could show up to address an international science conference wearing wrinkled trousers, a sweater, and tennis shoes. While the members of your audience would certainly comment on your attire, your reputation would not be harmed. In fact, it might be enhanced. You would be one of the few, the very few, who live outside the rules, who are expected to be unusual.

    Now imagine what would happen if the president of a corporation showed up to address a stockholders' meeting attired like Cher, or if the President of the United States spoke on national television wearing wrinkled clothes and tennis shoes. Both presidents would soon be looking for work. Barring the occasional eccentric, every speaker is expected by his or her audience to exhibit a personal appearance in keeping with the occasion of the speech.

    The President of the United States can be photographed in golfing clothes or riding clothes for a quick weekend interview at Camp David, but that same President will don a conservative suit and tie to address a joint session of Congress. Similarly, a business executive speaking at a winter sales conference in Acapulco would probably wear slacks and a casual shirt, because a business suit, in this atmosphere, would seem much too formal. But back home in San Francisco, Chicago, or New York, the same executive will be immaculately dressed in a well-tailored suit.

    A number of studies have confirmed that personal appearance plays an important role in speechmaking. Listeners always see you before they hear you. Just as you adapt your language to the audience and the occasion, so should you dress and groom appropriately. Although the force of your speech can sometimes overcome a poor impression created by personal appearance, the odds are against it. (In a survey of top business executives, 84 percent revealed that their companies simply do not hire people who appear at job interviews improperly attired.) No matter what the speaking situation, you should try to evoke favorable first impressions─impressions that are likely to make listeners more receptive to what you say.

    Bodily Action

    Novice speakers are often unsure what to do with their bodies while giving a speech. Some pace nonstop back and forth across the podium, fearing that if they stop, they will forget everything. Others are perpetual-motion machines, constantly shifting their weight from one foot to the other, bobbing their shoulders, fidgeting with their notes, or jingling coins in their pockets. Still others turn into statues, standing rigid and expressionless from beginning to end.

    Such quirks usually stem from nervousness. If you are prone to distracting mannerisms, your teacher will identify them so you can work on controlling them in later speeches. With a little concentration, these mannerisms should disappear as you become more comfortable speaking in front of an audience.

    As important as how you act during the speech is what you do just before you begin and after you finish. As you rise to speak, try to appear calm, poised, and confident, despite the butterflies in your stomach. When you reach the lectern, don't lean on it, and don't rush into your speech. Give yourself time to get set. Arrange your notes just the way you want them. Stand quietly as you wait to make sure the audience is paying attention. Establish eye contact with your listeners. Then─and only then─should you start to talk.

    When you reach the end of your speech, maintain eye contact for a few moments after you stop talking. This will give your closing line time to sink in. Unless you are staying at the lectern to answer questions, collect your notes and return to your seat. As you do so, maintain your cool, collected demeanor. Whatever you do, don't start to gather your notes before you have finished talking; and don't cap off your speech with a huge sigh of relief or some remark like "Whew! Am I glad that's over!"

    All of this advice is common sense, yet you would be surprised how many people need it. When practicing your speeches, spend a little time rehearsing how you will behave at the beginning and at the end. It is probably the easiest─and one of the most effective─things you can do to improve your image with an audience.

    Gestures

    Few aspects of delivery seem to cause students more anguish than deciding what to do with their hands. "Should I clasp them behind my back? Let them hang at my sides? Put them in my pockets? Rest them on the lectern? And what about gesturing? When should I do that─and how?" Even people who normally use their hands expressively in everyday conversation seem to regard them as awkward appendages when speaking before an audience.

    Over the years, more nonsense has been written about gesturing than about any other aspect of speech delivery. Adroit gestures can add to the impact of a speech; but there is nothing to the popular notion that public speakers must have a vast repertoire of graceful gestures. Some accomplished speakers gesture frequently; others hardly at all. The primary rule is this: Whatever gestures you make should not draw attention to themselves and distract from your message. They should appear natural and spontaneous, help to clarify or reinforce your ideas, and be suited to the audience and occasion.

    At this stage of your speaking career, you have many more important things to concentrate on than how to gesture. Gesturing tends to work itself out as you acquire experience and confidence. In the meantime, make sure your hands do not upstage your ideas. Avoid flailing them about, wringing them together, cracking your knuckles, or toying with your rings. Once you have eliminated these distractions, forget about your hands. Think about communicating with your listeners, and your gestures will probably take care of themselves─just as they do in conversation.

    Eye Contact

    The eyeball itself expresses no emotion. Yet by manipulating the eyeball and the areas of the face around it─especially the upper eyelids and the eyebrow─we are able to convey an intricate array of nonverbal messages. So revealing are these messages that we think of the eyes as "the windows of the soul." We look to them to help gauge the truthfulness, intelligence, attitudes, and feelings of a speaker.

    The quickest way to establish a communicative bond with your listeners is to look them in the eye, personally and pleasantly. Avoiding their gaze is one of the surest ways to lose them. At best, speakers who refuse to establish eye contact are perceived as tentative and ill-at-ease. At worst, they are perceived as insincere or dishonest. No wonder teachers urge students to look at the audience 80 to 90 percent of the time they are talking.

    You may find this disconcerting at first. But after one or two speeches, you should be able to meet the gaze of your listeners as comfortably as you do in casual conversation. As you look at your listeners, be alert for their reactions. Can they hear you? Do they understand you? Are they awake? Your eyes will help you answer these questions.

    It isn't enough just to look at your listeners; how you look at them also counts. A blank stare is almost as bad as no eye contact at all. So is a fierce, hostile glower or a series of frightened, bewildered glances. Also beware of the tendency to gaze intently at one part of the audience while ignoring the rest. In speech class some students look only at the section of the room where the teacher is setting. Others avoid looking anywhere near the teacher and focus on one or two sympathetic friends. You should try to establish eye contact with your whole audience. When addressing a small group (such as your class), you can usually look briefly from one person to another. For a larger group, you will probably scan the audience rather than trying to engage the eyes of each person individually. No matter what the size of your audience, you want your eyes to convey confidence, sincerity, and conviction. They should say, "I am pleased to be able to talk with you. I believe deeply in what I am saying, and I want you to believe in it too."

(2067 words) TOP

课文一

非言语交际

    话语的影响力受说话方式的影响。在讲话的时候，非言语交际是一个至关重要的因素，你可以在适当的场合使用适当的面部和身体动作。

    设想你在参加一个晚会。晚会期间你对周围的人有了种种印象。艾伦看上去悠然自得，性情平和。玛格丽特却是神经紧张，性格暴躁。卡伦落落大方，直言快语；而埃米却是心存芥蒂，言辞含糊。埃里克见到你很高兴，而马克则明显不是。

  
    你是怎样得出这些结论的?令人吃惊的是，你得出这些结论并不是基于人们说了些什么话，而是由于他们以非言语方式，——即通过他们的姿势、手势，和面部表情所表达出来的东西。假设你坐在马克旁边，他说，“这个晚会太棒了。非常高兴今晚能和你在一起。”然而，他的身体却微微 挪到一边，并不断地看屋子对面的某个人。不管他嘴上如何说，你知道那晚他并不高兴和你在一起。

    在进行演讲时，类似的事情也往往发生。下面一则故事讲的就是一个学生最初两次在教室里所作的演讲，以及每次演讲时他的非言语行为所产生的效果：

    丹·奥康纳的第一次演讲并不很成功。尽管他事先选择了一个很有趣的话题，做过仔细的研究，并非常认真 地练习过，他却没有考虑到非言语交际的重要性。轮到他讲时，他的脸掠过惊恐的神色。他像个死囚犯似的从椅子上站起来，步履沉缓地走上讲台，那样子像是走向断头台。他说的相当不错，可演讲的同时他的那双手却自行其事。他的手一会儿摆弄他的演讲稿，一会儿抚弄衬衫上的扣子，一会儿又在讲台上敲打。整个演讲过程丹低着头，并不断地看表。不管他嘴里在讲什么，他的身体在表明，“我可不想在这儿！”

    最后终于讲完了。丹跑向他的座位，一下子瘫在位置上，如释重负的样子。不用说，他的演讲不怎么成功。

    幸运的是，人们指出他在非言语交际方面的问题时，丹认真地去改正。他的下一次演讲就完全两样。这次他从座位上站起来，迈着大步很自信地跨上讲台。他控制着双手，集中注意力与听众进行目光接触。这确实是个进步，因为丹和上次一样紧张。不过，他发现自己越是显得自信，就越变得自信。演讲结束后他的同学都非常热情。“讲得真棒，”他们说。“你看上去真正关心你所讲的话题，而且你把这种关心传给了听众。”

    事实上，丹第二次演讲的措词并不比第一次好。他的非言语信号改变了一切。从他离开座位到又回来，他的行为表明，“我有自信，能稳住阵角。我有些值得一听的话要讲，我想要你们也这样认为。”

    姿势、面部表情、手势、目光接触——这些都影响着听众对演讲者的反应。我们如何运用这些和其它一些身体动作来进行交流，是一个叫做身势学的令人感兴趣的研究领域所要研究的课题。它的创始人之一雷·伯德惠斯特尔估计，身体运动可以传达出超过70万个可能的身体信号。临床研究证明，在一些情况下，这些信号占了很大一部分说话者要表达的意思。现代研究也证实了希腊历史学家希罗多德在2400多年前所讲的：“人们信任自己的眼睛甚于自己的耳朵。”当一个说话者的体势语言与他或她的话不一致时，听者倾向于相信体势语言，而不是说出来的话。






    下面是会影响你说话效果的非言语交际的几个主要方面。

    个人外表

    如果你是切尔，你可以穿着一身头饰比衣服还要多的奇装怪服，上台做奥斯卡金像奖授奖致辞。如果你是艾伯特·爱因斯坦，你可以穿着一条皱巴巴的裤子、一件运动衫，和一双网球鞋在一个国际科学会议上发表讲话。虽说听众肯定会对你的穿着评头论足，你的声望却不会受到损坏。事实上，它还能提高你的名气。你会成为不受常规约束，人们期望与众不同的极少数人中的一个。

    现在来设想一下，如果一个公司的总裁穿戴得像切尔一样，在股东会议上讲话，或者美国的总统穿着皱巴巴的裤子和一双网球鞋在全国电视节目上讲话，将会有什么样的事情发生。这两位老总很快就会失业的。除去个别的古怪之人，听众期望每一个演讲者应该使外表与演讲的场合一致。

    美国总统周末在戴维营接受简短的采访时，可以穿高尔夫球运动服或骑马的装束拍照。但同是这位总统，向国会联席会议发表讲话时却要穿传统的西服 ，戴领带。同样，一位商业主管在阿卡普尔科的冬季销售会上可能会穿休闲裤和便衫，因为在此氛围中，穿着西服会显得太正式。但是回到旧金山、芝加哥或纽约，同一位商业主管将会穿上光洁而笔挺的西服。

    许多研究已经证实，个人的外表在做演讲时起着重要的作用。听众总是先看到你，而后再听到你讲话。正如你要使你的语言适应听众和当时的场合，你也应合适地穿戴打扮。尽管你演讲的感染力有时可以克服个人外表所造成的坏印象，但事情往往难遂人愿。（在一项对高级商业主管的调查中，有84%的人透露说，他们的公司干脆不雇用那些在招聘会上穿戴不整的人。）不管在什么情况下演讲，你都应当尽力去留下一个好的第一印象――会使听众对你的演讲更加接受的第一印象。

    身体的动作

    新手们在演讲时往往不知道该拿自己的身体怎么办。有的人在讲台上不停地走来走去，害怕一停下来，就会把什么都忘掉。另外一些人则像一台恒动机，不断地把身子的重力从一只脚移到另一只脚，晃动肩膀，摆弄演稿，或把口袋里的硬币弄得叮当响。还有一些人变成了雕像，自始至终面无表情直挺挺地站着。

    这些古怪动作通常都是由于紧张。如果你易于慌乱无措，你的教师将会发现这一点，以便你在以后的演讲中努力加以控制。只要稍稍集中精力，这些毛病就会随着你在众面前讲话渐渐从容而消失。

   
    在开始演讲前和结束演讲后那一刻怎么做，这与你在演讲中怎么做同等重要。在你站起来演讲时，要尽力显得镇静、从容、自信，虽然你紧张得直恶心。走上讲台时，不要靠在讲台上，也不要慌忙开讲。给自己一点时间先平静下来。把演讲稿按你的需要摆放好。在你等待听众注意的时候，要静静地站好。与你的听众进行一下目光接触。到那时——只有到那时——你才能开始演讲。

    到演讲结束时，停止讲话后要与听众保持片刻的目光接触。这会给人一定的时间来理解你的结束语。除非你要留在讲台上回答问题，不然就收起讲稿回到座位上去。这样做时，要保持镇静自若的风度。不管做什么，不要在结束演讲之前就开始整理讲稿；不要以一声如释重负的长叹或像“哟！总算讲完了！”这样的话来结束你的演讲。

    所有这些建议都是常识性知识，然而令人惊讶的是太多的人都需要这种知识。在练习演讲时，花一点时间演练一下你在开始和结尾的表现。这可能是你提高在听众心目中的形象所能做的最容易，也是最有效的事情之一。

    手势

    演讲中很少有那些方面比决定手该干什么会给学生们带来更大的苦恼。“我应该把双手紧握起来放到后面？让它们垂放在身体两侧？把它们放进口袋里？放到讲台上？手势怎么办？我该什么时候打手势——怎样打？”即使那些通常在日常会话中能富有表现力地运用手势的人，在听众面前讲话时也觉得双手成了笨拙的附属物。

    多年以来，人们写的关于打手势的废话，比演讲的任何其它方面的都要多。熟练的手势能够增加演讲的影响力；但是普遍认为的公众演说家必须掌握一整套优雅的手势这一点却是无稽之谈。有些出色的演说家经常打手势；有些则从来不打。首要的原则是：不管打什么手势都不应把注意力吸引到手势本身上去，从而分散了你要传达的信息。手势应该显得自然，由衷而发，应该帮助阐明或进一步证实你的观点，还应该适合于听众和场合。

    在你从事演讲的这一个阶段，有比如何打手势更重要的事情值得你注意。随着经验的积累和信心的增强，你会自然而然地学会打手势。在这同时，注意不要使打手势和表达思想本末倒置。不要使劲儿地挥动双手，不要把双手绞在一起，不要压指关节，或玩弄指环。一旦你消除掉了这些分神之事，你就会忘掉双手。考虑考虑如何和你的听众交流，你的手势可能就会随之而来——就像在谈话中的手势那样。

    目光接触

    眼球本身并不表达什么感情。然而通过运动眼球和它周围的面部——尤其是上眼睑和眉毛——我们就能够传达一系列复杂的非言语信息。这些信息是如此地深刻，以至我们把眼睛看成是“心灵的窗户”。我们依靠双眼来判断一个演讲者的真诚、智力、态度和感情。

    与你的听众建立一个交际纽带的最快的办法，是亲切而愉快地正视他们。避开听众的目光最会失去听众。最好的情况下，不愿同听众进行目光接触的演讲者，会被看成是犹豫不定，心神不安。最坏的时候，他们会被看成是言不由衷或不诚实。难怪教师们要求学生，在演讲中80%-90%的时间都要看着听众。

    起初，你会觉得这样令人惊惶不安。不过经过一两次的演讲，你就应该能像在随便的谈话中那样比较自在的迎接听众的目光了。在看你的听众时，要注意他们的反应。他们能听见吗？听懂了吗？他们是否醒着？眼睛会帮你回答这些问题。

    仅仅看着你的听众还是不够的；你如何看他们也很重要。目光呆滞地盯着看，几乎和不进行目光接触一样糟糕。恶狠狠地瞪着眼睛或一连串受惊吓的、迷惑的瞟视也是如此。同时也要警惕死盯着听众的某一部分看而忽略其余的人的倾向。在演讲课上有些学生只看老师所在的那一处。另外一些人则避着不看靠近老师的地方，而是把目光盯着看一两个有同情心的朋友。你的目光应与所有的听众接触。当在一小群人（比方在班里）面前演讲时，你通常可以很快地从一个人看到另一个人。对于很大一群人来说，你可能要扫视听众，而不是竭力与每个人都进行目光接触。不管你的听众的规模有多大，都要让你的眼睛传达自信、真诚和信念。它们应该表达出这样的意思：“很高兴能和你们在一块儿谈话。我深信我所说的话，我希望你们也能相信这些话。”

返回

Text 2

Your Actions Speak Louder

by Melvin Schnapper

    A Peace Corps staff member is hurriedly called to a town in Ethiopia to deal with reports that one of the volunteers is treating Ethiopians like dogs. What could the volunteer be doing to communicate that?

    A volunteer in Nigeria has great trouble getting any discipline in his class, and it is known that the students have no respect for him because he has shown no self-respect. How has he shown that?

   Neither volunteer offended his hosts with words. But both of them were unaware of what they had communicated through their nonverbal behavior.

    In the first case, the volunteer working at a health center would go into the waiting room and call for the next patient. She did this as she would in America─by pointing with her finger to the next patient and beckoning him to come. Acceptable in the States, but in Ethiopia her pointing gesture is for children and her beckoning signal is for dogs. In Ethiopia one points to a person by extending the arm and hand and beckons by holding the hand out, palm down, and closing it repeatedly.

    In the second case, the volunteer insisted that students look him in the eye to show attentiveness, in a country where prolonged eye contact is considered disrespectful.

    While the most innocent American-English gesture may have insulting, embarrassing, or at least confusing connotations in another culture, the converse is also true. If foreign visitors were to bang on the table and hiss at the waiter for service in a New York restaurant, they would be fortunate if they were only thrown out. Americans might find foreign students overly polite if they bow.

    It seems easier to accept the arbitrariness of language─that dog is chien in French or aja in Yoruba─than the differences in the emotionally laden behavior of nonverbal communication, which in many ways is just as arbitrary as language.

    We assume that our way of talking and gesturing is "natural" and that those who do things differently are somehow playing with nature. This assumption leads to a blindness about intercultural behavior. And individuals are likely to remain blind and unaware of what they are communicating nonverbally, because the hosts will seldom tell them that they have committed a social blunder. It is true to tell people they are rude; thus the hosts grant visitors a "foreigner's license," allowing them to make mistakes of social etiquette, and they never know until too late which ones prove disastrous.

    An additional handicap is that the visitors have not entered the new setting as free agents, able to detect and adopt new ways of communicating without words. They are prisoners of their own culture and interact within their own framework. Yet the fact remains that for maximum understanding the visitor using the words of another language also must learn to use the tools of nonverbal communication of that culture.

    Nonverbal communication─teaching it and measuring effect─is more difficult than formal language instruction. But now that language has achieved its proper recognition as being essential for success, the area of nonverbal behavior should be taught to people who will live in another country in a systematic way, giving them actual experiences, awareness, sensitivity. Indeed, it is the rise in linguistic fluency which now makes nonverbal fluency even more critical. A linguistically fluent visitor may tend to offend even more than those who don't speak as well if that visitor shows ignorance about interface etiquette; the national may perceive this disparity between linguistic and nonlinguistic performance as a disregard for the more subtle aspects of intercultural communication. Because nonverbal cues reflect emotional states, both visitor and host national might not be able to articulate what's going on.

    While it would be difficult to map out all the nonverbal details for every language that Peace Corps teaches, one can hope to make visitors aware of the existence and emotional importance of nonverbal channels. I have identified five such channels: kinesic, proxemic, chronemic, oculesic, and haptic.

    Kinesics─movement of the body (head, arms, legs, etc.). The initial example from the health center in Ethiopia was a problem caused by a kinesic sign being used which had different meanings cross-culturally. Another example, the American gesture of slitting one's throat implying "I've had it" or "I'm in trouble," conveys quite a different message in Switzerland. It means "I love you."

    Americans make no distinction between gesturing for silence to an adult or to a child. An American will put one finger to the lips for both, while an Ethiopian will use one finger to a child and four fingers for an adult. To use only one finger for an adult is disrespectful. On the other hand, Ethiopians make no distinction in gesturing to indicate emphatic negation. They shake their index finger from side to side to an adult as well as to a child, whereas this gesture is used only for children by Americans. Thus, if visitors are not conscious of the meaning of such behavior, they not only will offend their hosts but they will be offended by them.

    Drawing in the cheeks and holding the arms rigidly by the side of the body means "thin" in Amharic. Diet-conscious Americans feel complimented if they are told that they are slim and so may naturally assume that to tell an Ethiopian friend this is also complimentary. Yet in Ethiopia and a number of other countries, this is taken pejoratively, as it is thought better to be heavy-set, indicating health and status and enough wealth to ensure the two.

    Proxemics─the use of interpersonal space. South Americans, Greeks, and others find comfort in standing, sitting, or talking to people at a distance which Americans find intolerably close. We give their unusual closeness the social interpretation of aggressiveness and intimacy, causing us to have feelings of hostility, discomfort, or intimidation. If we back away to our greater distance of comfort, we are perceived as being cold, unfriendly, and distrustful. Somalis would see us as we see South Americans, since their interface distance is greater still than ours.

    Chronemics─the timing of verbal exchanges during conversation. As Americans, we expect our partner to respond to our statement immediately. In some other cultures, people time their exchanges to leave silence between each statement. For Americans this silence is unsettling. To us it may mean that the person is shy, inattentive, bored, or nervous. It causes us to repeat, paraphrase, talk louder, and "correct" our speech to accommodate our partner. In the intercultural situation, it might be best for the visitor to tolerate the silence and wait for a response.

    Oculesics─eye-to-eye contact or avoidance. Americans are dependent upon eye contact as a sign of listening behavior. We do not feel that there is human contact without eye contact. In many countries there are elaborate patterns of eye avoidance which we regard as inappropriate.

    Haptics─the tactile form of communication. Where, how, and how often people can touch each other while conversing are culturally defined patterns. We need not go beyond the borders of our own country to see groups (Italians and black Americans, for example) which touch each other more often than Anglo-Americans do. Overseas, Americans often feel crowded and pushed around by people who have much higher toleration for public physical contact and even need it as part of their communication process. A visitor may feel embarrassed when a host national friend continues to hold his or her hand after the formal greetings are over.

    These five channels of nonverbal communication exist in every culture. The patterns and forms are completely arbitrary, and it is arguable as to what is universal and what is culturally defined.

    Of course, there is no guarantee that heightened awareness will change behavior. Indeed, there may be situations where visitors should not alter their behavior, depending on the status, personalities, and values in the social context. But the approach seeks to make people aware of an area of interpersonal activity which for too long has been left to change or to the assumption that visitors to other countries will be sensitive to it because they are surrounded by it.

(1366 words)  TOP

课文二

你的行为更重要

梅尔文·施纳伯

    一名和平队成员被紧急召往埃塞俄比亚的一个小镇，去处理志愿者把埃塞俄比亚人当狗一样对待的有关报道。那个志愿者做了什么，以至会传达出这样的信息？

　   一个在尼日利亚的志愿者很难在课堂上维持纪律，据说学生们不尊敬他，因为他不自尊。这是怎么回事？

    这两个志愿队员都没有在言语上得罪当地人。但他们俩都没有意识到他们通过非言语行为所传达的信息。

    在第一例中，那个在健康中心工作的志愿队员要到候诊室叫下一名病人。她叫人时像在美国做的那样——用手指点着下一位病人，并招手让他过来。这在美国是可以接受的，但在埃塞俄比亚她用指头指的手势是对小孩们用的，招手的手势则是对狗用的。在埃塞俄比亚，人们指人时，伸出一只手臂和手，招呼人时伸出一只手，手掌朝下，连续不断地握起。

    在第二例中，那个志愿队员坚持要让学生们直视着他，以表示专心致志，而在埃塞俄比亚，人们认为持续的目光接触是不尊敬人。

    英美人一个极其简单的手势在另外一种文化里可能会带有侮辱性的，令人尴尬的，或者至少是让人摸不着头脑的含意；同样，事情反过来也是如此。如果一个外国客人在一家纽约的餐馆里咚咚地擂桌子，并朝着服务员嘘嘘，那么如果他们只被扔出门外就算很走运了。如果外国的学生鞠躬，美国人会觉得他们过于礼貌。

    接受语言的武断性——狗在法语里叫chien，在约鲁巴语里叫aja——比接受非言语交流中那些富有感情的行为举止的差异要容易得多。从许多方面来说，这些差异和语言一样具有武断性。

    我们总以为，我们谈话和打手势的方式是“自然的”，而觉得那些行为方式与我们不同的人有点违背自然。这种想法使我们对跨文化的行为举止视而不见。个人很可能会对自己以非言语方式表达的信息漠然不知，因为主人往往很少说他们又犯了一个社交上的错误。说别人无礼也是无礼的；因此主人给予来访客人一个“外宾特许状”，容许他们在社交礼仪上出些错误。他们也从不知道哪些会酿成大错，到知道时已为时太晚。

    另外，还有一点不利因素是，客人还没有融入新的环境，不能作为一个自由的行为者发现和采用话语之外的新的交流方式。他们受自己的文化限制，只能在自己的文化体系里作出反应。而事实上要想最大限度的理解，说另一种语言的客人也必须学会运用那个文化中非言语交流的工具。

    非言语交流——教授并测定其效果——这比进行正式的语言指导更难。但既然语言作为成功的关键要素已得到了充分的认可，就应该对那些定期居住在别国的人讲授非言语行为方面的知识，给他们提供实际的经历，意识和知觉。事实上，正是语言流利性的增强使得现在非言语方面的熟练更为重要。一个语言流利的客人如果不懂面对面交往的礼仪，会比那些说话不那么流利的客人更得罪人；当地人会把这种语言和非语言行为之间的不一致，看成是对跨文化交流中更为微妙的方面不尊重。因为非言语信号反映人们的感情状况，客人和当地人也许都无法说清楚到底在发生什么事。







    虽然很难弄清楚和平队教授的每种语言的所有非言语细节，我们可以希望让客人意识到非言语渠道的存在和重要性。我在此列出以下五种渠道：身势，空间关系，语速，视觉和触觉。

    身势学——身体的运动（头、臂和腿等）。最初那个埃塞俄比亚一个健康中心的例子，是由于使用了在不同文化里有不同含意的身势语引起了问题。再举个例子。美国人扯喉咙的手势表示“我知道了”或“我遇到了麻烦”，而在瑞士却传达一个截然不同的信息。它的意思是“我爱你”。

    美国人并不区分向大人和小孩示意要安静的手势。他们把一个手指放在嘴唇上就可以了，而埃塞俄比亚人对小孩示意安静用一个手指，对大人要用四个。对大人只用一个手指是不尊敬的。另一方面，埃塞俄比亚人对表示着重否定的手势则不加区分。他们对大人和小孩都来回地摇动食指，而美国人只对小孩使用这个手势。因此，如果客人意识不到这样的手势的含意，不仅会得罪主人，主人也会得罪他们。




　

    吸进面颊和把手臂僵直地放在身体一边，在阿姆哈拉语里表示“瘦”的意思。注重节食的美国人如果听别人说他们苗条，会感到受了恭维，因此许多人就自然而然地以为这样对一个埃塞俄比亚朋友说也是恭维。殊不知在埃塞俄比亚和许多其它国家，这是轻蔑之意，因为体胖被认为更好，它象征着健康和地位，也表示一个人有足够的财富来获得这两样东西。

    空间关系——人际空间的利用。站立、坐着或与人谈话时，美国人觉得近得令人难以忍受的距离，南美洲人、希腊人以及其它一些地方的人却觉得很自在。我们把他们这种异常的接近，在社交上解释为咄咄逼人和过于亲呢，使我们产生敌对、不适或受到威胁的感觉。如果退后到我们觉得舒服的距离，我们则被认为是冷淡、不友好或是不信任人。索马里看待我们，就像我们看待南美人一样，因为他们面对面之间的距离比我们更远。

    语速——谈话时讲话的速度。作为美国人，我们希望对方能马上回应我们的话。在其它一些文化里，人们控制着交谈的速度，前后两句对话要留出一定的时间。对美国人来说这段时间让人感到不安。在我们看来，它会意味着对方害羞、漫不经心、厌烦或紧张。它会让我们重复、解释、提高嗓门，以及“纠正”我们说的话以适应对方。在跨文化的情况下，客人最好容忍交谈时的间隙，等待对方回应。

    视觉——眼与眼的接触或回避。美国人相信目光接触是注意听的表现。我们认为没有目光接触，就谈不上人类的交往。而在许多国家，却有我们认为不适当的各式各样的目光回避。

    触觉——交流的触觉形式。人们谈话时在什么地方、怎么样，以及隔多长时间才可以接触对方，不同的文化有不同的形式。我们不必走出国界，就可以看到比我们盎格鲁血统的美国人相互接触更频繁的人群（比如印第安人和黑人）。在国外，美国人常常感到拥挤，被人推来推去，那里的人对公众场合身体接触更为宽容，甚至还需要它作为相互交流的一部分。如果当地的朋友在正式的招呼之后仍握着客人的手不放，那么他（她）就会感到很困窘。




    非言语交流的这五个方面在每个文化里都存在着。其表现形式完全是武断的。对于什么具有普遍性，什么是某种文化特有的，没有定论。

    当然，这并不是说增加了知识就能改变行为举止。事实上，在有些情况下，客人不应改变他们的行为举止，这取决于社交场合中地位、人物，和价值观。但是，本方法是想让人们意识到人际交往活动的一个领域，长期以来，这个领域一直无人问津，或是认为到外国去的人会小心处理，因为他们置身这个领域。

返回